No Breathe in Longing (short story)

Bengkalis city rain lately.Sky incessant crying, crying about who knows what, I didnt know. Maybe sad to see people getting lost, or maybe start crying doomsday near. Ah .. I dunno, I wont what might have been.
I stared at the rain soaked streets. What a wonderful gift of God, I muttered to myself. Crawling chill throughout my body, very cold.It seems want to pull the covers again but of course I couldnt do because the work would not let me sleep again.As usual, I sat waiting for patients to come. I'm not a doctor, just an employee here. It's one opening hours but no patients came. Maybe they are all healthy. Thank goodness then.iets .. wait, I seem to see Wahyu in the truck. The more approached, and stopped in front of where this doctor practices. My head look out, it turns out he was right. He headed toward me."why would you Wah?" I asked, as he saw the blood on his right eyelid.
"I got hit by Ain," he replied.
"The doctor there?" Groping her eyes.
"There there, wait a minute" I said again as he wrote his statement.
I dont need to ask him again, because I know about him, as he was my high school friend,'n also compatriot.Shortly Doctors also went into the practice.
"In." I said. He too came in.
"Why?" I heard Doctor asked.
"I got hit Doc."
"Lying." He complied.
I saw behind the door, "you're going where wah?"
"Want to take the exam 'In."
"Close your eyes" said the Doctor. He cleaned the blood at the site of injury.
"poignant," groaned Wahyu.
"Bear a little ok." Still cleaning the wound. Then plaster and betadin given."Already finished" said Doctor. Wahyu got up and took drugs.
"Thank you Doc" he said.
"In, I go first." I just smiled.
                                                                     *
I propped in a chair looking at the drugs neatly arranged on glass shelves. My eyes were really heavy today, several times it closed. I almost fell asleep. I forced it open, though difficult. Closed again. I quickly set up in my seat. Now sit up straight with body upright. I tried to hold the eye that seemed burdened with the load 100 Kg.Drugs that are before me as if laughing at me. Whispering to his neighbor told him about me today that not excited. I want to scold them, but ah well, they only heap of drugs that will soon be given to the patient, drunk and destroyed.
I choose to say anything, still look at them one by one. Various types of these drugs for various diseases as well.I see patient from the door, has not come out. Sit back. Five minutes, ten minutes he has not come out too. Maybe they're check-up of cholesterol, blood sugar, and whatever their name, I didot know the true.
"Aini .." The doctor called me. I see him."Open, if I say open ok." I nodded in agreement.
Dr.A chiang rubbed the patient's arm with a cotton swab moistened with alcohol. He's looking for blood vessels, felt for up to find it. Hypodermic needle inserted into a blood vessel that slowly aspirated. Looking at it I was horrified, actually not too sick, just the needle that makes me cringe."Open." Orders.
"Quickly, I press the release button." I stand with cotton blood coming out of the place had been injected.
 "Come about half an hour longer mam," said Dr.A chiang to Mrs.Anita, as I read a paper at first glance the sequence of patients.
"Well Doc," he replied.
"Stop to go, I want to labor." The doctor said as he took the blood samples of patients to the laboratory. I just nodded.I sat back down in my office. stuck my mind. I cant think of anything. These tears came out by itself, there is a feeling of emptiness attack my heart. I wipe my tears, but it flowed again as if nothing would stop.
                                                                 *"Ain," so my friends call me. "You not go home today?" Ria asked me. It's break time, distance work with my home 10 km, so I rarely go home. I just rest here.
"No sis," I said simply.
Body and my brain really limp. I re-entered into to my room. Prednisone, dexamethason, piracetam, trimethoprim, ketoconazolum, and others. I search for a cure for nerve sedative tense but none I've encountered, I dont know whether the usefulness of drugs that, hmm .. maybe. The feeling came back to attack me. Pearl fell again. Ah .. I really hate this, I hate this feeling.
                                                             *
At 9 pm, I've got home. I drop my body on the mattress, which I guess releasing tired today. Really tired. I slept.
                                                             *
"Aini," a voice called my name. My view of all over the broom, I could not find one.
This place is so foreign to me, vast but barren.
"Aini."Rang out again, this time louder.
"Who?" I asked aloud.
"Im your longing." From behind me. I turn the body to see it. Its empty.
"I who you miss." The voice came back. I'm still looking for the direction of the voice, but I couldnt find one.
"Who?"My voice caught in my throat , my body shivers, tears came out."Who?" I repeated.
"I'm your longing""Im who you miss." My chest started to tightness, seizures.I close my ear with my palm. "Go .. go ...," I cried."I'm your longing."
"Im who you miss."
"shut up ..,"I shouted. I ran, ran, the voice continued to follow. I quickened my step. Run, continue, until I met a bunch of people who are grieving. In front of them there my mom was crying hysterically. I'm glad mingled wonder. I went to them, no one turned to me."Mom ..," I said. She still seemed not to hear.I looked at the gravestone mom is being sweep. .Written "AINI BIN AHMAD", I'm really surprised, my tears canot be dammed again."Nooooo," I yelled.
"Mom, it's me, I'm not dead," I said as I shook my mother's body. Untouchable. I try again, only in vain. I really dont believe it. I ran, still running, keep running.
                                                             ***

Jhia Zahra,Desember 2011

# if there is a vocabulary or sentence that isnt right,please apologize me, because I really cant speak english,LOL....
jika terdapat kosakata atau kalimat yang kurang tepat jhia mohon maaf.. Alna Jhia ini sangat-sangat tidak pandai berbahasa inggris.